 |
| Autumn colors adorn the banks of the West Branch of the Ausable River |
Being secure in my talents as a photographer has been tough this year, more so than any year previous. The reasons are not entirely clear to me. Part of it may be due to the fact that at this level improvement comes in tiny increments. It's easy to see improvement early on, when there is nowhere to go but up. It's easy to improve on nothing. But now it's getting harder for me to see improvement in my art. I look at the images I made this year and think that I could have easily made them two years ago. Where's the growth? Couple this with the discovery of a few extremely talented photographers in my region and the voices of self doubt in my head begin to get louder. Yes, I am hard on myself. But better that than have delusions of grandeur. It's the only way to get better.
I was in the Adirondack Mountains a couple weeks ago, and my first evening there I was sharing the summit of a mountain with another photographer. The whole time he seemed to be shooting entirely different things than I was, and my first impulse was to think that he was seeing something that I wasn't, that I was missing something. That his photos from that same vantage point were no doubt going to be better than mine. I have always struggled with this insecurity when sharing a location with other photogs. And I wonder if it was just me or was he also pondering the same things, experiencing the same doubts. I'm inclined to think not, as I never caught him glancing my way. He was lost in his art, which is where I should have been. After a while we began chatting and as it turned out we knew who each other was through Flickr, which was pretty cool. I complimented him on his excellent photography; it was not returned. Damn him. We expressed interest in seeing each others photographs once we returned home. Honestly, I'm afraid to look at his photos from that afternoon, worried that my fears will be realized. Ridiculous perhaps, but understandable.
Where am I going with this blog post? I have no idea. I don't have the answers yet. I just thought it might be a help to those other photographers out there who suffer similar insecurities to know they are not alone. You are out there, right? Right?!
I love this post Chris! I have had similar feelings. Back in June I kept running into these two other photographers at Bar Harbor. The third time I saw them they were at the harbor shooting the sunrise with me. There wasn't actually a "sunrise" because it was too cloudy. I made a comment to them about how I love clouds but this was a bit too much and one replied that it was just how he liked it. ??? I kept looking at the scene he was shooting (he had been at a different spot than I was) but I couldn't "see" anything. I wish I knew who he was so I could check out his photos!
ReplyDeleteI also think I'm a good landscape photographer. I was up in Vermont on Monday and stopped at a little tourist store and I started looking at their calendars. One of them was covered bridges. I was not impressed with the photos at all! Most were shot in bright sunlight. I knew I had much better shots at home. Some of the calendars were well done but others were lacking yet people seemed to like them anyway.
My favorite thing to shoot is landscapes but I haven't been focusing on it because I've been trying to make a little money to help pay for some of my photography stuff so I've been shooting people but that's not really what I want to do. I'm thinking of changing directions and just going with what I love even if it has to be a hobby. From G+ I know there are a lot better photographers out there but I also see photos by very popular photographers and I like mine better. :)
I love your work and if I was shooting next to you I would be checking out what you were shooting! :) Keep believing. I bet if you check out that other guy's work from that day you will be happy and will realize your fears were pointless.
Donna
Don't you hate it when you run into other photographers? I find it so distracting. It's not their fault when that happens, it's all me, but still. I've often wondered the same thing: what the hell are they shooting?
ReplyDeleteIt is frustrating when you see published work out there that you know is not as good as yours. I see it all the time. Then I get angry with myself for not taking the steps to get published that this other, less talented photographer did. Talent is important, hard work and business acumen even more so.
Thank you for the words of encouragement, Donna, you're very kind. You should definitely shoot what you love, I've seen your work and you are very talented. It's hard when we come across better photographers, but it is necessary to help us improve.
Chris - I think most artists fall into the insecure bracket, mainly because we need outside affirmation for approval, I know I do. You may be an extremely self assured individual and rate your work highly but what scale are you basing it on? In my case it would be the "Whisken Scale of goodness" i.e. either I like it or I don't, but being the producer and the critic is usually not the best way of gauging progress and is illegal in most sectors so you put a piece of yourself out there and essentially ask people to rate your work, either through sales if it is a business or accolades if you are a club guy or likes and comments if you are on FB. If it is well received you go through a high, if not there are a number of avenues open for your ego - it doesn't matter what others think - I think it is seminal; they don't understand it; what is wrong with it; man I'm terrible etc. etc.
ReplyDeleteA lot of people use social media for instant gratification, it can be one of the most unrewarding experiences for people who need constant affirmation, like a drug you look at your site often to see how your latest work has been received, the problem is that any affirmation you receive is dependent on the number of "your followers" and that is the catch it doesn't matter how technically good you are and if you think your photographs are better than some of the well known photographers - popularity, success, recognition is about brand awareness, if you can build a recognizable brand (niche) with a reasonable product that people can identify with, and want to buy or be associated with you and you can market it you will receive all the affirmation you want, they go hand in hand. Many artists call this selling out and I appreciate their position, some of the most technically competent and imaginative photographers have never sold an image in their lives. For those photogs wishing to earn money from their craft I hope that the will to improve their craft never fades but at some stage of your development your energy needs to focus less on improving your photographs and more on the business of photography, you focus on selling your product, on improving your SEO on entering more club competitions on getting known. When you get there you find your focus has changed and it is not about how gifted you are its about the ability to create a sustainable business.
Not so anonymous - just to lazy to register - for the record I follow your work and love your landscapes.
Thank you, "Anonymous", for your thoughtful comments. I've learned that I can't base my opinions of my work on social media or others comments. Artists have a different set of criteria by which we judge (for lack of a better word) our work or that of other photographers than non artists. I judge myself solely based on how my work compares to other professional photographers. But if course it's not that easy, so many variables that factor in.
DeleteYou are absolutely right about devoting energy to the business side of things, since that is my ultimate goal. Over the last couple of years I have made a much more concerted effort in that area. I think a good deal of my insecurity comes from the frustrations associated with that. I know I don't have to be the best photographer out there, though it would be nice. Knowing that I'm not does push me, however, and that's a good thing. It's good to strive for continuous improvement.
Thank you again for your encouragement, it means a lot.
Chris, when your insecurities cease it is then that you know it is time to move on. When you don't want to keep improving, the fire is out.
ReplyDeleteYou, my friend, clearly are continuing to feed the fire. Keep up the good work, as I enjoy seeing all your beautiful images.
-Becca
Thanks, Becca, you're too sweet! You are right, my insecurities may get me down for a bit, but ultimately it makes me work even harder.
DeleteGreat blog post Chris! I have so many thoughts ... the first of which is that I believe it is human nature to both feel that our own work is lacking AND that our own work is superior. :) The real truth is that nobody is "the best", it's not a competition, and there really is no prize on a grand scale for who is better than who. I think that when we do give in to that urge to compete, we lose the fun out of photography.
ReplyDeleteIt's also always helpful to me to remember that there will always be people with better and worse of virtually everything imaginable: equipment, weather, natural lighting, a bird flying over your landscape just at the right time, etc...even someone who is a few inches taller or shorter notices different things out there and gets different photo ops!
I do nature photography, so sometimes the real prize is to find something new to shoot or to be able to photograph it in a different way than I have had the opportunity to before. It's about being able to do a good job with what I've been given at that exact moment when I click the shutter. I've missed more shots than I could ever count, which is unbelievably frustrating to me but at the same time keeps me motivated to try to get that oh so perfect shot sometime later.
One more thing...what is that quote about how there are always two people in every photo - the photographer and the viewer? For instance, when I look at your photo of the Ausable River above, a thousand memories come into my mind of the Adirondacks...camping, wading in streams and rivers, special moments with my family, the way the air there gets so thin and crisp in the Fall, and so many other thoughts swirling...it's all there when I look at your picture. My experience is based on not only what Mother Nature gave you to shoot, what equipment, settings, and perspective you used to shoot it, but also all of my own stuff added into the mix too. How could we ever choose a "best" when there are so many variables?
All that being said, I do think that guy was rude for not returning the compliment. One of the best things we can do for each other as photographers, and as human beings, is to support and motivate each other. Giving a compliment doesn't cost anything and it can really make someone's day. :) I really enjoy your photos and your blog...I've been considering starting my own blog soon so thanks for the motivation!
Thank you for the kind words and encouragement, Mandy. You are very right, there is no "best" when it comes to photography, and art in general. There is better, however, and that's okay. Gives us something to strive for.
DeleteThis year more than any other I have experienced as much frustration as I have joy in my photography, and much of that has to do with trying to make a career out of it. I don't regret trying to do that, it's just that I have placed too much pressure on myself I think to produce one amazing shot after the other. I need to deal with that better.
Interesting side note about that other photographer. Turns out there's another Christopher Murray out there, on Flickr, who lives in New York State and is also a landscape photographer. This other guy thought I was him, and frankly hadn't been very impressed with what he saw on Flickr. I just heard back from this other photographer this morning, explaining all of this (he saw my blog last night).
Thank you again, Mandy. And you should definitely start a blog. I've seen your work and in addition to your talents as a photographer you are a good writer with interesting perspectives to share.
I love your pic! You are GREAT! I love taking pics, I am still learning alot. I have a 14 yr old involved in golf & baseball. I try to take as much as possible. I took on this hobby cause I can not do what I did before because a wreck I had 7 yrs ago. Taking pics has helped me so much, especially mentally. There is so much I still need to learn, I will with time. Keep up your good work. BEST WISHES~
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jennifer, I appreciate it! Best of luck with your photography, I am sure you will continue to improve. If ever you have any questions don't hesitate to ask.
DeleteAll the best,
Chris